Friday, December 20, 2019

TIME-ZONE LABS Ask Talibah


Recent correspondence from Talibah's desk~

Dear Talibah, 
How many years from now will the yoga pants fad end? It's one of the most unattractive garments in history in my opinion.
Regards,
Diana Mason, Earth, 21st Century


Dear Diana,
Excellent question, dear reader! The question is not “how many years from now,” but, how many years past! In Alternate Universe 469zq, year 2016 AD, Montana state legislator Rep. David Moore successfully got House Bill 365 passed in the House Judiciary Committee. This bill made it illegal to wear clothing that exposes the nipple or gives the appearance or simulates a person’s buttocks, genitals, pelvic area and shoes that expose the toes and/or heels of the feet. The bill specifically sites yoga pants as “indecent clothing” and a “crime against the eyes” and were therefore made illegal to wear in public. Unfortunately, it sounds as if you are from one of the refugee universes which agreed to host those displaced yoga-pant wearers who fled their universes in droves claiming discrimination and persecution for wearing comfortable clothing. In your universe, you will also most likely also find a faction of your population who go barefoot or wearing slides, flip-flops, slippers (and the like) where their toes and heels are hanging out in public. (I shudder at the thought!) You might consider emigrating to an alternate universe.
Talibah


Dear Talibah,
I will be traveling to Aubal #7 soon. What manners should I follow when invited to an Aubalian dwelling? Do I need to take a gift?
Fulsa Ohma, Toshiba Centari

Dear Roberta,
The Aubalians are a very quiet, graceful race. Always speak softly and move slowly. There is a time honored tradition of presenting a gift of a Rainbow Chime. The crystal chime is presented as part of the welcoming ceremony, which is performed before entering the dwelling of the serene Aubalian. Here is a script of the ceremony:


HOST: Still waters and green hills are yours here. Peace and serenity shall be with you here.  As a member of our family shall you be welcomed here.
GUEST: In gratitude I present this gift of crystal chimes. May each rainbow remind you of these times, when the winds breezed warm and soft, and the suns splashed their shine down upon us. Thank you for your welcome.

Anything you would like to ask Talibah? 
We'll print as many questions/answers as we have room. 
Just use the Ask a Librarian form at the right.

From the Desk of Talibah© 1993-2019 LeiLani PakiPrinted with permission.


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